What a wonderful tale and suggested ritual. I've noted a rise in rituals and ceremonies for these significant transitions in life, in the increasingly secular worlds we live in. It's so important. A few years ago I wrote an essay for AoA on the importance of ritual in death and my own journey with ritual and the runes. Ritual is part of what makes us human. Ritual demands a sacrifice and alchemy for the transformation to occur.
I think we need ritual more than ever before and I can see this rise of people and communities creating new rituals by resurrecting and adapting old rituals.
I look back on my life, and can think of all the key transitionals times where a ritual would have served me well as a woman and where it was absent: the first menstruation; divorce; menopause, death.
I think there is much scope to fill these gaps. It was my experience of birthing my mother into death that promoted me to train as a death doula. We also need divorce doulas and menopause doulas, and menses doulas as well as birth and death doulas.
In fact, all these transitional stages through life require.a.death to take place for the transformation to occur, so perhaps the role of the death doula can widen to encompass all.
I think with the first birth a woman goes through also requires death (the death of the life of the maiden who transitions into mother).
Sadly my experience was one of literally giving birth to death. But on that 18 year journey since, that birthdeath has been such a teacher. The ultimate sacrifice. And these kind of earth shattering experiences demand special rituals.
What a wonderful tale and suggested ritual. I've noted a rise in rituals and ceremonies for these significant transitions in life, in the increasingly secular worlds we live in. It's so important. A few years ago I wrote an essay for AoA on the importance of ritual in death and my own journey with ritual and the runes. Ritual is part of what makes us human. Ritual demands a sacrifice and alchemy for the transformation to occur.
I think we need ritual more than ever before and I can see this rise of people and communities creating new rituals by resurrecting and adapting old rituals.
I look back on my life, and can think of all the key transitionals times where a ritual would have served me well as a woman and where it was absent: the first menstruation; divorce; menopause, death.
I think there is much scope to fill these gaps. It was my experience of birthing my mother into death that promoted me to train as a death doula. We also need divorce doulas and menopause doulas, and menses doulas as well as birth and death doulas.
In fact, all these transitional stages through life require.a.death to take place for the transformation to occur, so perhaps the role of the death doula can widen to encompass all.
I think with the first birth a woman goes through also requires death (the death of the life of the maiden who transitions into mother).
Sadly my experience was one of literally giving birth to death. But on that 18 year journey since, that birthdeath has been such a teacher. The ultimate sacrifice. And these kind of earth shattering experiences demand special rituals.
You can read my essay on ritual and death here: https://open.substack.com/pub/advantagesofage/p/how-creating-my-own-rituals-helped-me-grieve-for-my-mother?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=6lrbk
Thank you for sharing your story. I agree resurrecting the old ones and adapting them to our times is the way forward.